Pearl. A gem I have mostly avoided, always telling myself it was too soft. Too easy to break or scuff or scratch. Hard, durable materials seem more suited to my style. That’s likely why diamonds are so magnetic to me, the hardest material known to man. A gem that puts up with wear, and is unyielding under the tools I fashion around it, hammering it into place, filing the settings, polishing it aggressively.

And then someone I care for asked me to make his lover a pearl collar. I couldn’t say no. At that point I had watched this friend wither under cancer treatments, seen tears in the eyes of his family and friends as we discussed his future. Of course. Of course I would source soft pearly gems, learn the silk knots to protect them and happily make his lover a glowing token of his love. 

I thoroughly enjoyed it - working with big baroque pearls, considering their watery existence before being pulled from the heart of a mollusk, their bright lustre and regal appearance. 

But I made the necklace and then put pearls away, straight back to my hard diamonds, sapphires and rubies that take aggressive handling. A trip to the ocean and a required course about pearls for my graduate Gemologist degree had me considering the gems again. 

I learned that these delicate stones form only when a contaminate or irritant enters a mollusk shell. In a natural defense mechanism, the mollusk surrounds the irritant with layer after layer of nacre, slowly forming the glowing, multilayered, organic gemstone - a pearl. The heart of the pearl is an irritant to its host that transforms into a symbol of beauty, elegance and delight.  

Considering this gem again, I realize now its softness scared me. As many of my soft qualities scare me, perceived as the weaknesses that could make my world crumble. I have not gotten to where I am by being soft. The effort, determination and sheer will power required to live this creative dream, what some may deam a soft, lovers dream, does not feel soft to me. It feels more like a hard diamond, chiseled and cut and fashioned into sharp facets that reflect beauty and color and light. Diamonds only reflect those qualities because of how hard they are, how much control its density has on the light that enters. As if the diamond has a will of its own, to take that light, bend it to its will and shoot it where its razor sharp facets deem worthy. 

But sharpness, will power, strength - hard qualities; leave something lacking. I too, have irritants in my life. Internal conflicts threatening my peace, sense of self, at times making me rage. The pearls remind me that the energy I give those irritants determines what they will do inside me. How they will grow or calm, the seeds they will sow inside my tender heart. Sometimes wrapping a raging insecurity in the smallest layer of love is the medicine needed to wholly accept who we are, irritants and scars and imperfections alike. 

My work, I am sure, will still find center around strong, durable gems - diamonds, sapphires and rubies for many custom jewelry and engagement ring pieces, but I am delighted at my new found appreciation for glowing pearls. The lesson of accepting softness as a strength to transform wounds into gems is an added bonus to their delicate beauty.